Doing Business with a Drug Dealer Might Co$t You – Literally!

After leaving yet another meeting, I hear an in progress call right around the corner from me.  I decide to go back up my fellow officer.  I was greeted by an angry man yelling about being ripped off.  As he tells his story, I can only shake my head.  Even though this wasn't the first time I heard a story like this, I’m always shocked and amused.  He started to explain how he was ripped off by his “dopeman.”  He visited the esteemed entrepreneur to purchase illegal narcotics. He paid with $100 and his “dopeman” gave him the $50 change from the purchase.  His next stop was the quickie mart for some snacks, but he left the store hungry and broke because the dealer’s change was in counterfeit bills and the dutiful clerk confiscated the funny money. 

He decided to reach out to his “dopeman” to find out if he treated all of his customers like this.  Believe it or not, said “dopeman” recognized good customer service and said he’d exchange the fake bills with real bills.  Still hungry, he went back to the store with some new cash and asked for his counterfeit money back.  The clerk recognized him saying he’s the one passing fake bills and kept those bills too.  Frustrated, famished and broke, he called police.  We responded and could only laugh quietly about his story. He’s calling to complain that his drug dealer wasn't an upstanding business man….really?  I refrained from telling him my first thought, “This isn't Burger King son, you can’t have it your way when you break the law.”

He promised over and over he’d destroy the money if we gave it back.  He got a quick lesson in counterfeiting and learned it was a federal offense.  He excitedly offered to help us with our investigation because he wanted the counterfeiter behind bars!

He didn't realize that this was his lucky day too.  Most people who call police after illegal activity, end up in jail.  But our Einstein drug buyer consumed all of his illegal narcotics before his 911 call.

That was my laugh for the day and then I returned to my monotonous life as a manager.  This day reminded me why I became an officer.  Each day is a new adventure and you just can’t make this stuff up!

-          - Story as told by one Police Captain who admits he can’t make this stuff up